In honor of the upcoming romantic holiday (I will be home alone crying my eyes out) I wanted to know what other people think are the best romantic comedies for me to watch on this most depressing of all celebrations, “sigh.”

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Extreme originality, great story elements and a decent plot that makes Lord of the Flies seem like a gentle tropical island romp compared to Chronicle. Been bitten by a radioactive spider recently? Blasted by cosmic or gamma radiation?  Found a giant glowing crystal in an underground cavern? All of these and more are ways to become a powerful mutant, but only one applies in Chronicle, the latest teen “superhero” movie.

Three teenagers, one super popular, another trying hard to be and a third completely out of touch find a perfectly circular hole in the backyard. As teenagers will, they elect to climb into the hole, scramble through a tunnel and come to a very large glowing crystal. The crystal, in some unknown way, grants them powerful telekinetic abilities with which they immediately begin to experiment. The teens, finding themselves growing in power, are soon playing tricks on people, moving cars and even flying.

Steve Montgomery (Michael B. Jordan), the popular teen, manages to take it all in stride rejoicing in the fun of telekinesis. Matt Garetty (Alex Russell), the teen trying hard to be popular, struggles with the moral and ethical ramifications of power and what rules need to be in effect. Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHaan) embraces the power and becomes intoxicated with it. His sociopathic tendencies lead him to the conclusion that he is an “apex” predator.

Not a pretty thought. Andrew, bullied all his life, becomes the ultimate bully. You’ll have to watch the rest of the movie to see the results. The movie that comes to mind is Carrie. Carrie, under her mother’s thumb, pushed around and teased by the other children and finally humiliated in front of the school unleashes the fury. I would suggest being nice to the disenfranchised youth…you just never know when they will manage to get ultimate power!

Chronicle is X-Men with a twist: it’s supposed to be real and director Josh Trank and his young cast add just enough oomph to make it seem so. This is a pretty good film and deserves a look. I would suggest seeing Chronicle in the theater for it needs the big screen for the full impact.

Rating 3.5 out of 5.

Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale star in a remarkably average film on smuggling. Wahlberg as Chris Farraday, a legendary smuggler, is retired. Farraday‘s security business seems to be taking off and he is now completely legit. Unfortunately his brother in law Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) is not. Andy is actively, if incompetently, attempting to smuggle cocaine. Predictably, the ship with the cocaine gets boarded and Andy and his buddy must toss the drugs overboard, leaving him in debt to a particularly sleazy drug dealer named Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi).

Of course, Wahlberg must “heroically” rescue Andy from, the verging on insane, Briggs. What complicates matters is that Briggs, while Bryce is actively seeking to find the money to pay him, begins to threaten Kate Farraday (Beckinsale) Chris’s wife. Why Briggs thinks this will help escapes me. Farraday is aboard ship and it can only go so fast. Why would you want to infuriate the man bringing you your money. Frankly, I would have flown home and killed Briggs myself…or hired someone instead and kept the money.

To further complicate matters a third party is waiting for the money from the drugs but Farraday is planning to bring counterfeit 20 dollar bills to sell, not the drugs. What makes this somewhat convoluted plot to a screeching halt is simple: if someone is bringing you over seven hundred thousand dollars to replace the street value of the drugs you lost, what does it matter if it’s in cash or cocaine. The value is the same and you have none of the risk. I find it damn near impossible to believe that the very practical business man waiting for the cash would have minded. There are worse plots but this one certainly was up there. So ludicrous and so contrived that the movie completely lost me.

I cannot fault the performances but I can fault the writing and directing. Wahlberg’s performance is solid, Beckinsale’s certainly fine with what’s she’s given but Ribisi’s is stilted, perhaps because of the one dimensional character with which he’s presented. Very unfortunate because I love his work. There are a few twist and turns that are good and Ben Foster turns in a typically fine performance as Wahlberg’s best friend, Sebastian Abney, but it’s not enough to save Contraband from mediocrity.

There was never much of an attempt to develop any of the characters and the entire film is lacking in chemistry. The sad truth is…this could have been a very good film had they taken more time to develop our relationship with the characters, made the plot more logical and added in some fun. I dislike films that are all disaster. And Contraband certainly is.

My recommendation is: see this film when it comes to Netflix, pick it up on HBO or Showtime or maybe someday, when you least it expect it, it will be a late night feature. If you miss it, don’t worry a similar film will be out soon…

Rating 1.5 out of 5.

Great action sequences spoiled by almost no character development make Underworld: Awakening a film easy to miss. Awakening manages to pack much of what make the earlier film successful: great fight scenes, dangerous enemies and excellent graphics, but none of the chemistry between characters or fun.

Underworld: Awakenings is set 12 years after the last mainstream film in a world torn by war. The humans, determined to destroy lycans and vampires, have developed powerful weapons to hunt and exterminate them. Using ultraviolet light and variants of silver iodide or projectiles, the enhanced humans are nearly extinct and in hiding. Only a few of the creatures are frozen in hopes of finding a cure to the “disease.”

One of those frozen is Selene (Kate Beckinsale). She is freed by the mysterious subject 2, a strange vampire/lycan hybrid the humans are using for their experiments for genocide. When Selene meets a coven of the very few vampires left all hell breaks loose and a new war breaks out: lycans vs. vampires, and such lycans. Enhanced by hybrid blood the lycans are powerful and, one in particular, is massive.

The plot is derivative, the characters reactions predictable and even the story is just a rehash, something we’ve all seen before. The originality of the Underworld series seems completely gone. Worst of all, the best character, Michael Corvin, didn’t come back for this iteration. There was a feeble attempt at including him but it was just that, feeble. Apparently the actor elected to bolt the series.

I love vampire films, but I truly don’t love this one. The action is good but most of the vampires are pale imitations of the deadly killing machines in former films. There is nothing worse than a wimpy vampire…nothing!

I also felt Beckinsale, certainly hot in her skin tight outfit, was not enough to save the film. Only Theo James stood out in the new Underworld. As David, unfortunately one of the wimpy vampires, he managed to capture my interest and I look forward to seeing him developed in the next movie. Oh yes, there will be another!

One further point: there is absolutely no reason Underworld: Awakenings needed to be in 3D. The film is too dark. I can’t even remember a moment when the technology enhanced the film. 3D for 3D sake is unconscionable.

I want to see the series return to the premier format: original story elements, powerful vampires, great character development and some visceral fight scenes. Should that happen I will be a fan once again. For now, I cannot be.

Rating 1.5 stars out of 5 and a bag of moldy Milk Duds…

According to Entertainment Weekly, Matthew Lillard is looking to be the latest edition to Trouble With the Curve. Lillard, as a young baseball scout, will be working with Clint Eastwood’s character, an aging scout losing his eyesight. The EW article states that Eastwood is working with his longtime production partner and Director Robert Lorenz. Amy Adams will star as Eastwood’s daughter.

Love the new suit, cannot wait for the new graphics, not too sure about Andrew Garfield and yet I’m waiting breathlessly for the new The Amazing Spiderman. Head to Super Hero Hype to check out the full press conference.

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Elegant Simplicity, rustic charm and unassuming characters blend to make this wonderful film a nice break from the typical. Le Havre is the story of a young boy smuggled into Normandy from Africa with his grandfather. The boy escapes but the grandfather, and several others, are rounded up from the cargo container in which they arrived. The second busiest port city in France, Le Havre is apparently a center for people smuggling and has a very active immigration police and deportation policies.

The youngster is found by Marcel Marx (André Wilms), a street shoe shiner with a child-like view of life: work hard, cherish your loved ones and enjoy the small pleasures. His wife Arletty (Kati Outinen) is the practical one. She saves for the future, eats sparingly, so Marcel doesn’t have to, and manages to keep them both alive. Unfortunately Arletty is sick, very sick. Without a miracle, according to the hospital’s Doctor Becker (Pierre Étaix), she will die. Arletty’s first thought is to protect her husband. She tells him she will be fine but he needs to not see her for two weeks so she can recover.

Marcel, on his own, manages to get himself involved in helping the boy, Idrissa (Blondin Miguel), not out of some idealistic notion but simply because the boy needs it. That’s what makes the film so good. Everyone gets involved for the same reason, because Idrissa needs it. The green grocer (owed money by Marx), the baker (also owed money) and the local bar owner (probably owed a lot) all help him hide Idrissa, feed him and keep him out of trouble.

There’s a wonderful scene, and very French, where Marcel enlists the aid of Yvette, the wife of popular singer Little Bob. Marcel wants Little Bob to do a “trendy” concert to raise money. The concert money will pay to send Idrissa to London where his mother waits for him. Marx presents his cause, introduces Idrissa and touches Yvette’s heart. She agrees, all Little Bob has to do is apologize and the reuniting of Little Bob and Yvette is, like the film, elegant simplicity.

Ah, and there’s a surprising performance by Jean-Pierre Darroussin as the seemingly evil inspector Monet. Complete with the black hat, black trench coat and rather black look on his face he looks to be an dark version of Inspector Clouseau, but is he? You’ll have to see the film, but I will say that Darroussin’s performance was a delight as was the entire film. Not since Il Postino have I enjoyed a subtitled film so much. Like a simple French pastry with a wonderful creamy filling such is Le Havre.

A little warning: Le Havre seems like a film from the fifties. The clothing, the furniture and architecture and even the hair styles all seem very much a throwback. Even the constant smoking hearken to an earlier age, which could be disturbing to some, but hopefully will not spoil the film for you.

Finally, Le Havre is about the dilemma that many of the western nations face. The separation of mass undocumented immigration with the helping of the “illegal” alien you find in your own backyard. I believe that most of us would have helped feed Idrissa, clothed him and given him a place to stay, perhaps even helped him on his way. I would, would you?

Rating 5 stars out of five (and a glass of Bordeaux).

Is it Sci-Fi? Horror? Fantasy? I don’t know but the trailer is thrilling and certainly piqued my interest. The Cabin in the Woods seems a confusing mess with elements of Dreamcatcher, Cabin Fever, Star Trek and even Halloween, among others, all mixed together. With Drew Goddard (Cloverfield, Lost and Alias) at the helm (and co-writing) I think it’s a real worry. Goddard’s work stretches the envelope beyond recognition, but, with Joss Whedon’s strong presence (and balance), The Cabin in the Woods could be that most unusual film: one that blends genres to make a synergistic whole. Whedon’s Firefly/Serenity did that brilliantly. It bodes well that SXSW has chosen it for opening night!

I’m cautiously optimistic even after having seen the trailer. Check it out:

This trailer is just weird enough to fascinate me. Billed as a version of the Kaspar Hauser story: the tale of a boy that disappeared in childhood and reappeared with no explanation as an adult, the film stars cult film’s Vincent Gallo. If nothing else it is a rather odd story and the boy could have been kidnapped by aliens (or am I watching too much Dr. Who?). Dancing with spacecraft anyone?

According to Deadline Hollywood, Nicholas Pileggi and Jorge Zamacona are working on a conversion of one of film’s most popular Mafia stories. Goodfellas, the movie version of the book Wiseguy, could very well be a series on AMC.

Wiseguy, and hence Goodfellas, are based on the life of Mafia soldier Henry Hill and have been incredibly popular both in print and on screen. I cannot imagine with such strong roots and the backing of AMC that the new TV series won’t be anything but sterling and a success. I’ll be there watching the first night.