Verdict: ★ ★ ★ 1/2

They say that legends begin with normal people who believe in themselves, and that’s how this interesting take on one of history’s greatest heroes is told. The stories of the mighty Hercules (Dwayne Johnson) are told far and wide thanks to his nephew, the bard Iolaus (Reece Ritchie) whose silver tongued tales turn farmers into armies.

However, as it’s quickly revealed, the stories are just that… stories. Hercules is a powerful mercenary and also relies on the support of his elite team of fellow mercenaries to keep getting hired by kings for impossible missions. Amphiaraus the seer (Ian McShane and his awesome voice), Autolycus (Rufus Sewell), Tydeus (Aksel Hennie) and the Amazon Atalanta (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) round out his team of badasses as they are hired on by Lord Cotys (a spectacular John Hurt) to help defend the land from an rival lord bent on takeover.

Turns out, there’s always more than meets the eye on just about every level!

Hercules was a surprisingly smart movie, immersed in the sort of action packed, Greek desert set piece world as Conan the Barbarian but with much more thought. The characters were shallow archetypes… mindless warriors, storytellers who want to prove their own strength, sniper level bow carrying Amazon women, kings with deceitful plans and lots of gold, generals with grudges. And yet, every character in this movie had a depth that leaves the viewer satisfied.

The actors took what they had and gave it their all. Without this level of superior acting, this movie would certainly have been flushed by my friends over at Soiled Restroom Cinema sooner or later! But Brett Ratner’s direction behind the helm made Hercules work very well, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

My favorite in this one had to be (hands down) Ian McShane, who both narrated the movie and provided most of the humor. His voice is to die for but aside from that, he was enjoyable in every scene. Pictured above in one of the coolest scenes of the movie, he is a “seer” who saw his own death by fiery arrow and awaits it in every battle scene, having made peace with his impending doom. However, he continues to be disappointed and the way he reacts is hilarious every. single. time!

General Sitacles (Peter Mullan, the gray haired, pony tailed death eater Yaxley inHarry Potter 7) is appropriately badass, another deep gravel voiced, no nonsense dude I enjoy very much.

All in all, I found the movie worth seeing at least once for the sake of having a refreshing take on the Greek legend, and came away smiling.

Verdict: ✫✫✫

Odd Thomas, a character created by Dean Koontz that spans several novels and a movie directed by Stephen Sommers (the guy behind GI Joe and The Mummy trilogy)… words I’d use to describe this flick: Fast. Humorous. A little sexy here and there. Dialogue straight out of a comic. Surprisingly serious in parts, for all the quirkiness of the flick. An ending I didn’t expect at all.

Odd (yes, that’s his real name because of a screw up on his birth cert, played by Anton Yelchin) and his girlfriend Stormy (a heart-breakingly adorable Addison Timlin) have an interesting relationship. Odd is a psychic investigator who can see the dead. And when I say “investigator” I mean “other worldly special forces agent with a kung fu grip”.

These two are a couple of badasses who grew up together, understand and enjoy each other thoroughly. That said, Armageddon is coming to Pico Mundo, Arizona and the signs are catapulting around every turn in front of Odd like giant red banners. A murder needs investigating, a suspect needs following and a shit load of demons need to be used to help him triangulate the cause of this impending destruction. All hell seems to break loose right on time but who or what is behind it?

All in all, I enjoyed this flick. It was campy and fun about as much as eating great Chinese food with a girl who makes you laugh from deep down in the gut. The chemistry between the characters was on the shallow end, but it’s still cool in the pool and this goofy, gumshoe mystery-thriller with a sci fi twist was a blast to watch. Definitely worth a buck at the box! Heck, I might even check out the first of those novels.

Verdict: ★ ★ ★ 1/2

When you go to a Rock movie, it’s pretty much assured you’re going to see the same stern eyed, tough talking, bleached toothed, wildebeest-girthed badass you see in every other Rock movie who does impossible feats of absolute craziness in every bulldozing, car jumping, people screaming, concrete smashing action scene.

Well… this is not that kind of Rock movie.

San Andreas surprised me with how different it is from the trailers that sold it. It’s a very well toned, nicely balanced instructional earthquake video that starts off with an oddly “out of place” 7+ richtor scale earthquake in Nevada which Cal Tech seismologists led by Dr. Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti) test a theory of magnetic prediction against. Apparently a few hours before an earthquake happens, the earth lets out a high magnetic field or something scientific like that. Omg! That’s awesome! Earthquake predictions! Wait. Um. Dr Hayes? The magnetic field is off the charts… OMG! Get out of there!

>Fa FOOM!!<

A quake that tears apart Hoover Dam like it was wet Kleenex erupts and according to what their laptops are telling them, it’s a precursor to the San Andreas faultline letting off some steam… or magnetic force… or something. All this is explained to us as our Cal Tech geeks run from crumbling concrete and jump over suddenly opening fissures.

That’s cool by me. Action while learning science rocks! Speaking of rock, LAFD heli-rescue pilot Chief Ray Gains (Dwayne Johnson) in about to sign divorce papers that his wife Emma (Carla Gugino) sent him in an oddly reminiscent Twister plot device when suddenly they’re brought back together after he rescues her from the top of that building we all see in the trailer. Almost immediately they get a call from their only daughter Blake (Alexandra Daddario) who is in San Francisco which is just where the San Andreas faultline crawls out of the Pacific. And, just like her mom and dad, she thinks fast on her feet in tight situations.

Thankfully, the almost bland flavor of family drama that threatens to derail the entire movie doesn’t, and we’re catapulted into the action of earthquakes rocking the west coast. The two female leads (Gugino & Daddario) as well as the two male leads (Johnson & Giamatti) all bring their A-game and offer strong, confident acting. Left behind are the weak damsels in distress and stepping forward are the ladies taking charge and saving lives. And the men are appropriately badass while maintaining the emotional pull necessary to be real human beings and not just plastic action heroes. Unfortunately you don’t see that in the trailer, which kind of pissed me off.

Screenwriter Carlton Cuse said it best when he said, “Part of the construct was making sure that each character had a mission and something that they were trying to accomplish. Alexandra’s character wasn’t just waiting around to be rescued. Carla wasn’t just a passive participant in Dwayne’s journey. I was trying to find those ways in which each character can express their heroism as an essential concept.”
Source: http://collider.com/san-andreas-movie-18-things-to-know-about-dwayne-johnson-disaster-movie/ (spoilers in article)

However, what the trailers (probably put together by studio execs) show and what the movie actually is, are completely opposite. Mr. Cuse’s thoughts about what he was trying to do with the female characters in the movie are completely opposite of what everyone saw in the trailers: Blake was waiting around to be rescued and Emma was just a passive participant in Dwayne’s journey.

What the artists who have actually applied the paint to the canvas are showing us, is different than what the suits making the deal are selling it as and that infuriates me. Because 1) most people aren’t going to see the movie based on what the artists wanted us to see. If they see it at all, they’re going to see it because of what the execs thought we would want to see. And 2) it just shows yet again that studio execs have no possible clue what people actually enjoy in art. Heroism is one thing, but strong female leads are awesome and we are woefully lacking of those in Hollywood. This movie is refreshingly bursting with strong female characters who aren’t waiting around for men to save them, like the trailers unfortunately portray.

In conclusion, San Andreas isn’t the movie you saw in the trailer. It’s a smart, easily flowing disaster movie with a strong cast who know how to make the audience feel safe and aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty, all while allowing the tenderness of being human shine brightly.

Devoid of laughter, ripe with female stereotypes and with no relationship between the characters, Hot Pursuit is a black hole of comedy. All of the life seems to be sucked out of it. Reese Witherspoon and Sophia Vergara, in a buddy movie, seems a natural. Unfortunately there’s not a hint of a connection between them.  The characters are extremely exaggerated (not in a good way) and the dialogue is some of the worst I’ve heard.

I’m blaming this almost entirely on a poor choice of directors. There are plenty of great buddy movie directors and any of them would have been a better choice than Anne Fletcher. The director of such great action films as 27 Dresses and The Proposal (tongue stuck firmly in cheek), does not belong at the helm. The film plays more like Mean Girls than The Odd Couple. I was definitely looking forward to a female version of the latter.

Wiitherspoon plays Cooper, an unlikeable female Barney Fife-like character (hard to imagine) and Vergara is Daniella Riva, a drug lord’s shrewish wife. Vergara’s husband is testifying against his boss and Cooper is charged with getting he and his wife to court. The plot was good and could have been fun, but the characters are so incredibly annoying Hot Pursuit falls flat.

This film just doesn’t work. The writing is stilted, at best. The direction doesn’t make any sense. Why would you not want the audience to root for the Cooper and Riva? Both seemed clueless and uninteresting and I could have cared less. Even the villains were bland and generic. I would miss this movie like avoiding a zombie locked in an outhouse. Why bother. It’s just not worth the trouble.

Rating: .5 out of five stars

Verdict: ★★★★

So my wife was cruising RedBox and found this movie, gave me a look like, “You wanna?” and I gave her a look like, “I’d rather eat blue stained glass from the Rose Window.” but being a good husband, I masked the look with, “Of course dear!”

I fully expected this movie to be another one of those We’re Having A Baby movies where the entire focus is on the mother to be and the goofy-go-lucky daddy stumbles over his own feet, panics through most of the movie, says the wrong thing all the time and is treated like a total idiot for “laughs”, and in the end the baby is born and all’s well that end’s well, credits roll.
(sighs)

That didn’t happen here, thank goodness. Despite the all-female movie cover, as if mommies were the only ones ever present during a pregnancy, this is a movie that is balanced between the mommy and the daddy… or in this case, the several mommies and daddies. I know, right?? What’s this? Equality between the genders? Oh em gee!

In WTEWYE‘ing, we follow several couples in their various states of relationship from conception to birth, each relationship as different as the couples who lived it and each path as hilarious and beautiful as life itself. I mentioned balance, and I meant that… I honestly couldn’t have made it through this movie without the help of the Dudes Group (seen above). These guys were worth the time it took to sit through this flick alone! Every time they showed up on screen, my head was back, my open mouth, my teeth showing as I laughed my ass off!

I definitely recommend this movie. It’s real (despite Cameron Diaz and J Lo starring in it), it’s moving and it will keep you smiling throughout the entire thing! Being a daddy of two, I can personally testify to the memories this movie brought back, and some I’m still living through.

Verdict: ★ ★

Why did a single, 300 page book like The Hobbit get made into an overblown, added to, filler-filled, eye-roll-worthy movie trilogy with all the trimmings… while a 13-novel, kick-ass, amazingly written fantasy fiction series get condensed down to a single, hum-drum 102 minute popcorny flick? How does that happen?

Joseph Delaney had created an entire world of monsters and witches and those who hunt them with full historical background and ideas, not to mention a story line that makes most of what comes out of Hollywood look like children’s number and color books… all under the heading The Last Apprentice. I recommend them for anyone interested!

So needless to say, I was a little excited to see a movie being made. One I figured might be the start of a cool trilogy, but as it seems… all of the Last Apprentice’s lessons were neatly trimmed and we pretty much got a “before and after” look at what could have been an amazing series of movies. Heck, I’ve seen slower transitions in my teenage daughter’s behavior when she gets grounded from her stereo.

When Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), an ancient witch suddenly gets a surge of power because of a rare Blood Moon appearing, she sees it as her opportunity to take over the world. Unfortunately for her, the only thing standing in her way is famed monster hunter Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges in his best Bane from The Dark Knight Rises voice) and his young apprentice Tom (Ben Barnes, who always seems to look astonished in every movie I’ve ever seen him in for some reason).

Tom’s your typical arrogant, trips over his own feet apprentice and the only things that separate him from Micky Mouse are the brooms carrying buckets of water. A few not so funny laughs come and go but don’t really break up the tension <coffcoffmonotanycoffcoff> of a sudden onslaught of witch-monsters who are attacking villages. A little bit of romance between our hero Tom and a young witch named Alice come and go, but it really does nothing for the story because neither Tom or Alice really seem to know how to act romantic. Mostly they just stare at each other from across a field or when right next to each other, exchange smirks.

<BAM!> Suddenly Tom’s bad ass and knows how to swing swords and fight legions of assassins with nothing but a staff. Holy cats! Where did this guy come from?

All in all, this movie is okay if you want to see some interesting CGI monster action, but even then, there’s not much of it. I’d say spend your money at Amazon on some of Joseph Delaney’s books instead. You’ll get a lot more out of them and since they’re young-adult, your kids might also!

Verdict: ★ ★ ★ 1/2

Jupiter Ascending… or should I say Jupiter descending! I’m serious… this girl repeatedly fell hundreds of feet through the air in this movie, over and over. Every time she turned around, the floor dropped out from under her or an entire city block fell over and she was on the highest tower. For some reason, no one could keep Jupiter on the ground and things were always coming apart.

That’s okay, good stunts are hard to find. Especially when the stunts are done through really pretty scenery. The Wachowski sibs have a knack for ultra-realistic graphics in very unrealistic situations. The Matrix and V For Vendetta were very pretty movies and this is also very pretty. You can watch this flick again and again just to view the beautiful set pieces built on a computer and just to enjoy them for what they are.

The first things I heard from many critics who’d seen this are that the story is boring and the romantic twist is so dull it makes a brick look appealing. Okay, to address that… this movie’s backbone is basically a corrupt politician trying to ice his competition. Booooring! However, the meat on the bones is what makes the movie work. Enter Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) who is a half wolf/half human hybrid legionnaire soldier who has the uncanny ability to track down anyone. He is hired by one of the sons in the most powerful dynasty in the Universe to hunt down the genetic lottery winner Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) who is destined to take over as heir to the dynasty. Or something.

Problem is one of the other sons of the dynasty, Balem (Eddie Redmayne) is a corrupt douchebag who wants to take over everything. That’s the boring part and his entire character is boring. Sheezus, I couldn’t hang out with this guy for even five minutes without killing myself. He just sits around and says quiet, threatening, egotistical phrases to everyone and has entire planets decimated with the snap of his tiny fingers.

Zzzzz… <snort> Sorry, I just fell asleep talking about him. Where was I? Oh yes, Caine and Jupiter together basically are the meat of the flick, and wherever they go, action follows. The best alien spaceship dogfight over Chicago that I’ve ever seen on film (or is it the only one?) is pretty early on in this movie and I enjoyed it immensely. It was right up there with the last space battle in Return of the Jedi for me. I loved it and for that reason alone, I’d buy this flick on DVD.

However, this brings me to the critics’ second problem: the romance between Caine and Jupiter. It’s pretty humdrum. She basically falls for him in the first few seconds of their meeting because… Channing Tatum with pointed ears. Who wouldn’t fall for that? He also rescues her from death, but that’s beside the point… he rescues her from death pretty much the entire flick through. However, he doesn’t fall for her back because he’s a soldier and soldiers don’t fall for royalty. So every step she takes toward him he takes a step back and the romance remains shallow and not tense at all. Until later when he basically decides to hell with the old days of soldiering and allows himself a little fun. Then the romance gets a little deeper. But not much because… Channing Tatum.

Channing Tatum is about as deep an actor as The Rock. I love watching them kick ass, but if anything more is asked of their acting ability, disappointment will follow. But that’s okay since this is mostly an action flick with pretty scenery.

Verdict: ✰ ✰ ✰ 1/2 –  –

As a long time fan of the Fast and Furious movies, I have an emotional stake in the characters that have driven this entire series. Vin Diesel’s acting, with the possible exception of looking angry, has the emotional depth of an engine block. But his almost insistent pounding of loyalty to his family in all these movies are what makes him the rock he is that everyone clings to. When the motor oil hits the fan, you know it’s okay because you expect him to be there with a four foot lug wrench in his hand, looking the bad guy dead in the eye without any backing down. And that can be comforting.

Paul Walker (rest in peace), on the other hand, has emotion pouring from those blue eyes of his. You never see Paul without a smile on his face unless he’s pissed… which isn’t often. I have always loved seeing Paul come on screen in any movie he is in because he takes things easy, is always at least a little humored by the situation, no matter how dire, and everything seems to fall into place with him there. I’ve always pictured Paul Walker as the Hollywood actor who forgot he was a Hollywood actor and just acted human. Humble. Grateful. In love with life. He, as a person, amazes me.

That said, this movie is all action from the first moment to the last. Clocking in at 137 minutes, this flick pushes the PG-13 envelope and keeps the language clean while doing stunts that literally had me gripping the armrests and saying the dirty words for them. Fortunately, I saw this movie during Avengers 2’s opening weekend and I was alone in the theater.

Sebastian Shaw’s big brother Deckard (Jason Statham) is right at home kicking all kinds of ass and making Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) work overtime as he avenges his little brother from that ass kicking he took in Furious 6. This time, Dom and his family aren’t alone. Along for the ride is a humorous, fellow ass kicker named Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell the way I remember him from the old days) who is above the pay grades of most black ops types. He’s the guy who tells Men In Black what to do! And he happens to have been hunting Deckard Shaw for some years now.

As it is, he and Dom are after the same thing for different reasons. So much for street racing in L.A. Hello counter-terrorism! And yet, taking it to the streets is exactly how Dom and his family get it done. With fast cars, smart plans, and lots of guts. Street Racing in L.A…. not to mention flying cars across Abu Dhabi… has never seen this level of power! Everyone in this movie is tough. And all throughout, everyone gets to show what they can really do. No one on the planet can tell me that hand to hand combat between Michelle Rodriguez and American Mixed Martial Artist Ronda Rousey is a cat fight. This was one of the best fights I’ve seen on screen yet!

By the time the two hour and seventeen minute mark rolled by, I had to pee so bad it hurt, but I couldn’t skip anything. <rant> Bring intermissions back, Hollywood! </rant> But I will say this… the tribute this movie and its cast performed for their late comrade, Paul Walker, was extraordinarily beautiful and I, for one, admit that I bawled like a baby! Not because he will be missed (he will be very missed) but because they made the tribute to him seem as though Paul Walker is still here with all of us, still a part of our journey, though he is for certain on other journeys now. The beauty of just simple looks, from the actors on screen during this tribute, can speak volumes and are told in just a few short minutes. This tribute alone made this movie priceless, at least to me.

Which leads me to the oddly placed spiritual aspect of Furious Seven… which helped it stand apart from the first six of the series. All throughout it was implied that “Eternity is in this moment” and the idea that being mindful, an ancient spiritual practice in many religions, gave the movie a level of depth I wasn’t expecting. It was touching and kept me grounded as I watched.

All in all, this was a very nice ending to a long series of extraordinary action movies that true fans will very much enjoy.

Grab on to your seat, hold onto your water and get ready for a pulse pounding, heart stopping non-stop action flick! Furious 7 is one of the best of the breed, except you have to leave your mind (maybe your whole brain) at the door. My own theater had a little box by the door iced and ready for mine. It was quite convenient.

Don’t ever get me wrong, this movie was obviously about a galaxy far, far away and maybe a different universe. Obviously physics works entirely different in that universe, because there is nothing in Furious 7 that remotely resembled our Earth. The only thing that makes this work for me is all of the Furious movies flirt with impossible happenings. With Furious 7 it not only flirts, but takes it to bed and wakes up early next morning for breakfast with it. I’m not kidding: guns that fire with out power and with unlimited cartridges, cars that fly without wings and bad guys that should star in Terminator movies.

7 has the same old crew, Dominic and the boys (and girls), but there’s some nice additions, Kurt Russell and Jason Statham, good guy and bad guy respectively. Russell is the crusty old government agent that just won’t stop and Statham the Energizer Bunny of villains. He just keeps running. Somehow, and that’s never explained, he shows up wherever the team is and, no matter how much he gets stomped, he seems to keep fighting.

Furious 7 is classic old school film magic, like the six shooters that fired eighteen or the horse and rider that died several times in the same western, only 2015 style. Just remember when you walk into the lobby that Furious 7 is part of a “persistent world” where Dominic Toretto is king and his “family” manages to defy physical limitations. Accept that and you will really like this film. If you cannot, don’t even bother. I’ll give you that this one is great with popcorn and peanut M&Ms!

Rating: 3 out of 5 and this should be seen in the theater!

20. Top Hat (1935)

It would be tragic to pick the top 25 musicals and not include at least one with the most famous dance team in movie history: the very defining duo of grace and elegance, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers! Top Hat is the best in a great series of films starring the pair. Great music, incredible dance sequences and some of the best chemistry on screen, make this film unmatched in pure ballroom joy.

Top Hat is also one of their funniest. When Rogers mistakes Edward Everett Horton for Astaire the action is hilarious and that is only one of the great scenes. I love this film. The story is great, the characters excellent and, of course, the dancing is some of the best you will ever see in a movie. I’ve watched Top Hat a dozen times and never get tired of it.

http://